For many people, the term ‘Coffee Mum’ conjures up the image of a crazed caffeine-fuelled whirlwind. A series of kids trail behind like the tail of a kite, tied on tightly so as not to be swept away. In reality, there are actually lots of different kinds of Coffee Mums, with a few core themes in common:
- They love their kids (no brainer)
- They love coffee,
- They think about coffee
oftenall the time
- They can’t start their day without coffee
Pool Coffee Mum
50% multi-tasker and 50% juggler, the Pool Coffee Mum is gifted. Arriving at swimming lessons, she carries her coffee in one hand, and in the other, she has three bags and four towels. She is answering 17 questions from her little people while simultaneously guiding them into Mingara Aquatics like a line of little ducklings. In a heartbeat, she manages to find the best seat and put everything down – except the coffee she is holding. With her remaining hand she can remove little shirts and fold them back into the bag while adjusting goggles and ushering the kids to their lane for their lessons. Why not even wave to the swim instructor for good measure?
Then she sits. She breathes…and she silently high-fives herself for successfully getting everyone here on time. She sips her coffee and appreciates every single one of those 30 minutes of swimming lessons, waving and throwing the odd thumbs up to her kids as they show her their best big arms!
Instagram Coffee Mum
The Instagram Coffee Mum appreciates a good looking coffee. The hard work and skill of the barista is not lost on her, nor is the opportunity to photograph, filter and post a perfect coffee photo for her followers. She wouldn’t dream of adding sugar, for fear of disturbing the crema or the latte art. Her friends are already three sips into their coffee while she is carefully moving purses and keys from view, setting the perfect scene and angle for her shot. She knows all the coffee hashtags and has coined a few herself. Who doesn’t love to capture a good memory, and then drink it? If you didn’t post it, did it ever even happen?
#coffeeislyf #theroastedberry #greatcoffee
Activewear Coffee Mum
Activewear Coffee Mum hasn’t been to the gym. She just likes active wear. What can’t you do in your activewear? This mum has breakfast in her activewear, takes her kids to school in her activewear, and meets the school mums for coffee – in her activewear. She subscribes to the Lorna Jane newsletter and reads it like gospel. She orders her favourite pieces in several different colours and matches her runners to reach activewear Nirvana. Like a boss, she orders a coffee and a gf (guilt-free) piece of cake. This clever individual has worked out that activewear has a lot more ‘give’ to allow for cake-bloating (I bet Lorna Jane didn’t think about that). Hand me some spandex, Activewear Coffee Mum is a bloody genius!
Mother’s Group Coffee Mums
These ladies travel in multiples, like a gang. Their squad wheels their prams to form a wall around their table as they sit and drink their coffees. They talk about whose baby is walking, whose baby is talking and whose baby knows the square root of 200, while all secretly wishing for just a single hour of uninterrupted sleep. Their baby bags are filled with nappies, 37 Tupperware containers, three spare changes of little clothes and enough baby wipes to wash a car. They debate the subject of caffeine and breastfeeding with a degree of scientific rigour that would astonish Marie Curie. These women are each other’s wolf pack, supporting each other to survive this crazy ride called motherhood, and good coffee is the glue holding them all together.
Hot Mess Coffee Mum
She is breathless as she arrives at the counter to order her coffee. It’s not because she’s been out running – it’s just because her life is so exhausting. The coffee counter is Hot Mess Coffee Mum’s finish line, and the barista is waving the chequered flag. She has her hair in a messy bun and there are food stains down the front of her shirt, but that’s not what’s important. It is 9.00am, and she has ticked 125 things off her list already. Don’t be fooled by the crazy hair, this chick knows how to get things done.
When it’s time to pay for her coffee, she digs into her giant tote bag and searches for the money to pay for it. Her hair falls on her face as she juggles her bag and phone, rifles through keys, bits of paper, lip gloss, stray sultanas and bits of Lego. She laughs as she says “sorry, it’s in here somewhere” and mentally adds ‘clean out handbag’ to tomorrow’s list. Hot Mess Coffee Mum appreciates her coffee, every single glorious sip of it, and boy does she deserve it.
Toddler Wrangler Coffee Mum
Toddler Wrangler Coffee Mum thinks it will be nice to get out of the house and take her little one out for a coffee. She has visions of chilling out over matching keep cups (one being Babyccino sized). They’ll shoot the breeze, chat about the weather and discuss ways to stay on Santa’s nice list. In theory, it was a cute idea. But reality hits her like a freight train when her toddler has a meltdown over marshmallows at the counter. WHY ARE THERE NO PINK ONES? Like lightning, she pivots, changes her order to take away and gets the hell out of there. Her beeline is the nearest park, where they can both let off a little steam. Her steam comes from her coffee cup, and she inhales it with gratitude for baristas and fenced off play equipment.
High Maintenance Coffee Mum
This mum isn’t high maintenance – but her coffee order sure is. She thinks nothing of ordering a tall, double shot, non-fat, soy latte, extra hot, with a pump of vanilla and half a Stevia. She knows exactly what she wants and spells it out with precision, in order, every time. Her friends cringe when ordering on her behalf because they aren’t sure what half the ingredients actually are. Is her coffee even really classified as coffee anymore?
Gifts for Coffee Mums
The best gifts are always those with a bit of thought behind them, so if your mum is a Coffee Mum, you’re onto a winning theme. To help you along, here is a selection of gifts at different price points for every lover of coffee.
Coffee Bean Necklace
Made from a real coffee bean, this necklace is also available in gold.
Great coffee on the go is made possible by BODUM with this nifty French Press.
Coffee + Simplicity Tote Bag
Sunshiny yellow and a selection of sizes make this tote perfect for your mum.
Choc Chilli Coffee Beans
Satisfy the coffee craving, the chocolate craving and a love of chilli, all in one hit with Choc Chilli Coffee Beans.
Ravens and Donuts T-shirt
A long-sleeved tee with some coffee humour will make Mum smile every time she wears it.
Kettle with temperature control
She’ll never scald her coffee with this Temp Select Kettle.
We’re up for the challenge
No matter the Coffee Mum, the baristas at The Roasted Berry step up to the challenge. They lovingly craft every cup, happy in the knowledge that they’ve made a difference to your day. Gather up your mum friends, your own mum or even just take yourself along to The Roasted Berry. make every Mum her perfect cup of coffee. Check out our menu.